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...lost something with the decline of social restraint. Civility is essential to social cohesion. When everyone agrees, in an implicit social contract, that they should behave in a certain way-avoid particular words, offer specific courtesies-the realms of the private and the public are yoked together. When you are polite not just to your friends and family, but to everyone with whom you come into contact, a network of trust is established in a society. Trust is the bedrock upon which social and economic exchange is built. Where trust is absent, suspicion rules; you deal only with those...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: The Uses of Civility | 2/9/2004 | See Source »

...President was hard to read, the White House decision-making process was even more mysterious. Each time O'Neill tried to gather data, sift facts and insert them into the system for debate, he would find discussion sheared off before it could get going. He tried to build fiscal restraint into Bush's tax plan but was thwarted by those who believed, as he says, that "tax cuts were good at any cost." He was losing debates before they had begun. The President asked for a global-warming plan one minute and then while it was being formulated, announced that...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Confessions Of A White House Insider | 1/19/2004 | See Source »

...precise business, especially since it blurs into the larger category of BDSM, or bondage-discipline-sadomasochism. A 1990 Kinsey Institute report said researchers estimate that 5% to 10% of Americans occasionally engage in SM sex. "The lighter end of BDSM is penetrating bedrooms across America. It's restraint on bedposts, it's spanking, it's fantasy play--and it's all fairly common," says Barnaby Barratt, president-elect of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. In his quarter-century of private practice as a therapist in southeastern Michigan, Barratt says, "hundreds, if not thousands" of married couples...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Behavior: Bondage Unbound | 1/19/2004 | See Source »

...every time they have sex. The scene has become so large and varied that it encompasses the rich farrago of coupling practices known as BDSM, which includes not only SM--the erotic enjoyment of inflicting and/or receiving pain--but also BD (bondage/discipline) and DS (domination/submission). BD usually involves physical restraint and a punishment/reward setup (say, Nurse Ratched with a patient). DS relationships are often as emotional as they are carnal. Submissives relish transferring authority over aspects of their lives to others; the submissive might allow the dominant not only to tie her up but even to tell her when...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Behavior: Bondage Unbound | 1/19/2004 | See Source »

...shadow of churches and historic architecture, the market's stalls groan under the weight of mounds of olives, vast wheels of cheese, baskets of fresh herbs and eggplants the size of soccer balls. Even if you buy nothing - which would be a miracle of self-restraint - you'll find the atmosphere alone fulfilling. The Piazza Carlo Alberto market is open weekdays and Saturdays until 2 p.m. and is closed Sundays...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Getting Fresh in Sicily | 1/18/2004 | See Source »

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