Word: richardson
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...general, she found, the Other Woman of today is either pursuing a promising career or trying to get past the turmoil of a divorce. A majority of Richardson's women had been married once and had had affairs with older men, often a mentor or a boss. A few entered into affairs cynically to get ahead at the office. Others wanted to experiment sexually with a disposable partner. But most seemed to drift into sexual relationships with a man they had previously pigeonholed as a friend, not a lover. By convincing themselves that the man would somehow remain merely...
...Richardson, 47, a professor at Ohio State University, is married and says she has never served as anyone's Other Woman, old model or new. She got interested in the topic when one of her students, involved with a married man, asked about the research on the subject. "There wasn't any, so I did a study myself," says Richardson, who talked to 700 Other Women, 55 of them at some length...
...Richardson thinks that these mental gymnastics result from women being taught to avoid conflict and keep relationships running smoothly. This, writes the author, "may mean ignoring or overlooking discordant messages, and taking the blame for any misunderstandings." One woman in Richardson's study, who regularly went to a disco with her boss, convinced herself that the relationship was purely a business...
...Richardson's women had some trouble keeping matters carefree and cool. "They started out thinking they were going to be safe," she says. "Then they got caught, and they ended up caring about him." Richardson found that this happened even to veteran Other Women on their third or fourth affair. The single woman who falls in love with a married man often creates a private culture of shared jokes, "month-iversaries," and a scrapbook or photo album that takes on a "semi-sacred" character by affirming a relationship that cannot be made public...
...more opportunities for affairs, and as they get older, there are fewer marriageable men--the age group 40 to 44 contains 233 single women for every 100 single men. But the new Other Women seem to be just as disenchanted with their married men as the old Other Women. Richardson says that "the overwhelming majority" of those she interviewed said they would not advise any woman to get involved with a married man. --By John...