Word: ringoes
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HELP! The new ring on Ringo's finger puts him in double jeopardy from a couple of mad scientists and a band of Oriental cutthroats. The result is a wild spin cycle of sight gags and exotic locations. The Beatles really haven't much to do except romp along with the frantic action...
...foursome must face lesser issues: for instance, how to keep Ringo from the clutches of an ineffectually diabolical oriental cult, a mad scientist armed with a portable model of Goldfinger's lazer, and Roger the man-eating tiger. The ceremonial ring of this cult, the Kaili (pronounced kah-ee-lee), is stuck on the fourth finger of Ringo's right hand, and without the ring the Kaili can't continue their sacrifices. Their victims, by the way, all beautiful young girls, are painted bright red before they're slaughtered. This crazy scientist thinks he can rule the world with...
...Lennon, everyone is a failure. When every saw has broken on Ringo's ring, the Jeweler declares that he must use the wheel. "The wheel?" says Ringo. "Even the Royal House of Hanover had the wheel, sir," replies the Jeweler. And when, of course, the wheel breaks, Lennon sneers, "Jeweler, you're a failure, aren't you, Jeweler...
Papa Beatle Ringo Starr, 25, cocked an ear to little Zak's first wails and mused: "It could be a promising noise. Could be." At any rate, the Baby Beatle's hair was coming in nicely, and he'd inherited the magnificent Ringo nose along with the basset-hound jowls. Now, if he can learn to ululate on key-could be. "He's a little smasher," whooped Ringo as he called at London's Queen Charlotte's Maternity Hospital and packed off Mama Maureen and child in a Rolls-Royce to their apartment...
HELP! The Beatles romp through sight and sound gags pursued by a band of sinister Orientals out to make a human sacrifice of Ringo. Addicts will welcome the shots of the Beatles' communal pad, which - among other things - has wall-to-wall grass...