Word: rumored
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...Rumor: Giuliani hates pedestrians, taxi drivers, hot-dog vendors, squeegee men, people on welfare, reporters, anyone opposing any of his proposals at any time, and doesn't even get along well with his own wife. Fact: The mayor does not hate these people. The mayor is a temperate man of philosophical disposition. He simply recognizes that those particular individuals tend toward rudeness and thus need to be treated firmly. They must be given rules, and when they break the rules they must be punished. What could be fairer than that? As His Honor has so profoundly said, "Freedom is about...
...Rumor: Giuliani has secreted himself and a few trusted aides in a $15 billion fortified bunker deep beneath Central Park, defended by a corps of specially trained killer moles, which can spot and, with their frighteningly large incisors, quickly disembowel any enemies of the city attempting to infiltrate the deliberately darkened access tunnel. Fact: The mayor has sensibly proposed building an emergency control center for merely $15 million in the World Trade Center. Should any danger--be it a raid by crazed fundamentalist bioterrorists, a stock-market crash or a strike of rollerblading dog walkers--threaten New York, the mayor...
...Rumor: Giuliani strangled a homeless man to death after the hapless wretch begged for a handout without saying please. Fact: No such incident has occurred, at least not recently. The ugly rumor may have been sparked by the shooting by an off-duty police officer of an unarmed "squeegee man," one of those aggressive supplicants who threaten windshields with slimy rags or sponges unless compensated, in conjunction with the fact that soon after the mayor came to office, most squeegee men and other homeless people mysteriously disappeared. But the suggestion that the mayor and some shadowy private army roam...
...Rumor: Giuliani is nuts. Fact: The mayor has never been declared psychotic by any reputable mental-health professional or committed to any institution for the criminally insane. Though some of his ruder detractors call him a bullying, paranoid "control freak," many experts believe that is the exact personality type required to run a city as rude as New York. Besides, the mayor does not call reporters and other enemies "jerky," "stupid," "silly" and "not really that intelligent" unless they actually are. He has correctly stated, "I pride myself in displaying good judgment about people...
...Rumor: Giuliani likes George Steinbrenner. Fact: Of all the vicious, scurrilous things said about our mayor, this is the worst. The mayor does not "like" anyone. He simply recognizes the Yankee owner as a trustworthy and fair-minded sports executive whose goal is to exchange the musty old Yankee Stadium that New Yorkers find so sterile and bland for a sparkling modern entertainment venue in a more affluent district, one closer to theme restaurants and uninfested by rude squeegee...