Word: rutger
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Once I realized the elections were for real, I started thinking: Fury, you're not getting any younger. One day you'll be old and feeble, and when that day comes, won't it be nice to be able to say to yourself, "Rutger, you ruled over a nation of slaves with an iron list...
Thus I decided that I, Rutger Fury, would stand for office in the Soviet Union. After all, it was pretty unlikely I'd ever get elected President here. So I packed up my bags, a copy of The Prince and my toothbrush, and hightailed it to my local airport...
...made was to put my best foot forward, ideologically-speaking. I hitched a ride with a quasi-legal import-export merchant to Nicaragua and then took an arms freighter to Cuba where I was able to register with the Comintern and buy some identification papers. I was now Rutger Gorbachev, long lost grand-nephew, twice removed, from the Soviet premier. I figured the pull might be useful later...
What we hadn't counted on, though, was that after a few drinks our fellow hijackers would get a tad unruly. In retrospect, Rutger and I shouldn't have insisted that the stewardesses waive the $2.50 mixed drink fee, because once we all started hitting the sauce in the way only free sauce can be hit, the expedition lost all sense of organization...
...convinced the others to let us off first at Teheran; but, after Rutger began extolling the virtues of one particularly fine American institution located in the desert outside Reno, our companions demanded a time-consuming detour to Nevada...