Word: sailorful
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...drunken U.S. sailor made off with a mail truck in Naples and hit eight cars. In the process, he injured several Italians and a New Jersey tourist named Shirley Shapiro, who still has only partial use of her legs. After a Navy court-martial, the sailor went to prison for ten months. As far as the Italians were concerned, the U.S. Government was prepared to consider their claims for damages. But Mrs. Shapiro was unable to collect a dollar, much less a lira...
...whenever their offenses are committed while performing their duty or against another American stationed in that country. The host country has jurisdiction over all other cases, but usually waives it even for serious offenses. Although SOFA provides U.S. tort liability when servicemen are on duty abroad, the .U.S. sailor who hit Mrs. Shapiro was off duty; although she could have sued the sailor personally, he was too poor to make it worthwhile. All of which left Mrs. Shapiro with no chance of adequate recovery...
Those who go too far are generally female, though Eric House's foppish Tattle who always deals with women "who shall remain nameless" and Terrence Currier's shoutingly gruff sailor Ben "who wants a little polishing" have their share of slapstick hysterics. A few players like Dixie Dewitt's drunken Nurse are too raucous-voiced all along, but the general problem is not knowing when to stop. Miss Clayburgh and Mr. House's seduction scene has some deftly staged running around but the audience tires around the half-mile mark...
...North American men's sailing championships is a test of sailors alone. After summer-long eliminations, eight men are chosen to sail eight races in eight virtually identical boats. After each race, the contestants swap boats to eliminate any possible edge. The victor gets his name engraved on the Clifford D. Mallory Cup-and proud claim to the title of No. 1 U.S. sailor...
...RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING." A bumbling Soviet submarine crew panics a tight little island off the New England coast, but the invasion scare is funniest when Broadway's Alan Arkin filters cold war jitters through the psyche of a reticent Russian sailor...