Word: sauceritis
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Bubba lives in the White House, the house that is zapped into holocaustal flames by a flying saucer's death ray in Independence Day. The house that, come Christmas, will be invaded by uggy green creatures with no manners at all in Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! The house whose primary resident supposedly knows every secret of a secretive government--the hot dish about alien sightings, alien abductees, alien autopsies--except that, as viewers of TV shows like The X-Files are taught, the President doesn't know the half of it, because the information is kept from...
According to a 1994 Washington Post-ABC News survey, 59% of people who have reported encounters with flying saucers prefer Ross Perot to Bill Clinton or Bob Dole. When I read that not long ago, in a New Yorker piece by Michael Kelly, I told myself that the important thing was to avoid panic. There was no reason to go around clutching perfect strangers by the lapels and shouting, "Do you realize that if only people with flying-saucer experience vote, Ross Perot will be President of the United States...
...true that we've had low turnouts before, but it isn't likely that we'll ever have an election in which only people with flying-saucer experience vote. If that ever happens, analysts will know early on Election Day because everybody walking toward the polling places will be pointing to something up in the air that the citizens still going about their business...
...survey will say the question was routine. They'll say that at a staff meeting the survey manager made his usual assignments: "Ed, you do angry white males. Mac, try to get a fix on which way the abortion issue cuts. Sandy, take a look at how the flying-saucer vote is breaking down...
...wanted to avoid overinterpreting what the results actually mean. It's possible that Perot's appeal to saucer spotters has nothing to do with what commentators are diplomatically calling his temperament. Maybe, in one of the many public appearances he has made to say that the Reform Party is not about him, he said something considered favorable to those who believe in Unidentified Flying Objects. ("What you want to do is to get 'em close enough so you can look under the hood. It's as simple as that...