Word: schaech
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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TELL GRANNY: Hunk-in-residence in movies like Giant and The Time Machine, Rod Taylor is back on the big screen. He stars opposite neo-hunk Johnathon Schaech in Welcome to Woop-Woop, due next month. And, Gramps, Tina Louise...
...male lead (Jonathan Schaech) takes lessons from Paul Reiser, the nineties Alan Alda. The female lead, played by Gwyneth Paltrow is spunky and independent. (See, no jokes about her weight in this review). The mother-in-law presents, sadly, a thoroughly ingrained type, the Endora that all dowagers become. But maybe we should throw social critique to the wind as we've lowered our standards to below action flick plot expectations by watching this movie in the first place. Nope. That's the beauty of being fly enough to play both sides of this issue...
...though the movie pays its respect to romantic detail, it's really just this big cat fight over this man who is decidedly handsome but not convincing enough to be worth fighting over. Apparently, women only shine if men are just not present, because Lange plays a widow and Schaech might as well be dead for all his presence does to move along the plot--though he is cute, so he can stay. But I digress...
...shrinking violet turned black widow at the threat of replacement. The revenge of Scarlett, with the necessary homage to Freud. The film even goes out of its way to give an example of a foil to Jessica Lange's character, Martha. The good belle, played to perfection by Schaech's grandmother (played by Nina Foch) gives a wonderfully spirited performance. She delivers the best one-liners and has the venom befitting a woman on the side of the good and the righteous, the legitimate...
...looking, as a friend comments, "Like somebody stole her food." The novelty of having a movie whose main characters are women is marred, because the plot is channeled through some late-Bond era fantasy of a planet full of women who all want to serve and protect their men. Schaech's non-essential role in the movie is not a triumph for women everywhere--it's more of a slap in the face. Can women only shine in their protracted pursuit of the male species, courting their love even if they gave birth to them? Disturbing, to say the least...