Word: schmaltzing
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Unfortunately, to get the jokes you have to sit through the schmaltz. That means scene after scene of Barbra gazing into the mirror, wishing, just wishing that she had been born beautiful like her mother and sister. Scene after scene of Barbra staring off into the distance, pining for someone who will know what type of toothpaste she uses, or how she likes her salad, with bad jazz surging from the Dolby THX surround-sound system and half the people in the theater moaning like they just had bad Chinese. For those hopeless romantics with the huge hearts...
...does Mozart and Sondheim, Gershwin and Strauss. What more, indeed, could Kate deLima need? Singlehandedly, she's taken over Harvard musical theater; one could hardly imagine a "Marriage of Figaro" or a "Fledermaus" getting off the ground without her. Not to mention a one-woman cabaret act, complete with schmaltz, Catskills-style patter, and a big band...
This upsurge in schmaltz is the result of much study. Men, the broadcast industry believes, will watch anything with a bouncing ball or bodies colliding and grunting. But women, the ones who actually go to the store to buy the beer, the pretzels and the kids' Reeboks, require something a little more human and uplifting. So NBC spent millions getting the heart-wrenching stories behind the stories, about 140 of them, on everyone from diver Mary Ellen Clark, whose cancer-stricken father made it to poolside, to the horse Nirvana II, which was an embarrassment to its Thoroughbred family--which...
...Roberts (the very same singer who made his living back in the 1970s as the musical voice of Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family TV show). And there's more: this coming February, Bronfman-penned lyrics to a song called To Love You More will turn up on pop-schmaltz goddess Celine Dion's new disc. But don't start combing your Yanni albums looking for the junior Bronfman's name in the liner notes. He writes under a very showbizzy-sounding alias: "Junior Miles." THE LITTLEST MAKEOVER...
...last piece on the disc is the widelyknown "Tahiti Trot," based on the popular Vincent Youman tune "Tea for Two." As the story goes, Shostakvich orchestrated the theme in 40 minutes after a challenge by a friend. Chintz turns into schmaltz at this point; the listener is treated to a seemingly endless (actually only three-minute-33-second) passing of the mindless theme from section to section. The best advice here is to listen for the melding of one texture into the next. Shostakovich manages to keep within the same balance of bass and treble parts, though he sometimes bursts...