Word: screeds
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...high-minded aversion to shameless self-promoters vanished with the recent birth of that 7-lb. 7-oz. love child, Tiffany Ariana Trump. Make no mistake, this is not the beginning of a screed on Family Values left over from last year's Republican National Convention. The way I see it, the marital status of Donald Trump and Marla Maples is a private matter best left to their attorneys, their accountants and their spokesmen. Instead, what fascinated me was their decision to name this blue-eyed baby girl Tiffany...
Perhaps the lad who wrote this one-sided screed should apply his talents to restaurant reviewing, where he can interview all the cooks who have been fired and ignore the food. He shows some promise as a humor writer: I laughed aloud at his contention that Richard's taking a sabbatical nine years into his job constitutes evidence of stress. If that be the case, then Harvard's entire senior faculty must be gobbling Valium by the case...
...reader looking for consistency should open a jar of peanut butter rather than this screed. But as rancid gossip repackaged for national distribution, Queer in America is going to be hard to beat. Signorile learned his trade feeding items to New York City gossip columnists. He was an innuendo specialist who now touts himself as the pioneer of "outing," the distasteful practice of publicizing the private lives of homosexuals who do not feel the need to advertise what goes on in their bedrooms. By outing the famous, Signorile believes he is liberating all homosexuals from shame and guilt...
Then one day I put into print a glaring error about Perot. I was holding forth on one of the more devastating imbecilities of the Reagan era, the abolition of the progressive income tax in favor of a two-tier flat tax rate. I ended this screed by observing, "And so you see, if you make more than $17,500 a year, you will not be in exactly the same tax bracket as H. Ross Perot." And then, because my high school English teacher taught me to write balanced sentences, I added, comma, "who makes more than $1 million...
...SURPRISE notwithstanding, this particular issue of Peninsula would be easier to take if it were a screaming fundamentalist screed against filthy perversions, and a ringing endorsement of Thomism redux. Then we could dismiss the whole exercise as the produce of over-educated and socially nervous young Miniver Cheeveys, forced to live in a world and age neither of their making nor liking, and who unfortunately have their own private magazine in which to publish their tantrums...