Word: seatful
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This became even clearer when Delta made the mistake of letting me work the p.a. system. The airplane p.a., it always seemed from my passenger seat, where I fought the urge to grab it, is the most powerful broadcasting tool in the world. You can interrupt 200 people's entertainment just to announce your thoughts. As soon as I got on it, I made a long speech about my goals as a one-day flight attendant and how we got a 2% commission for selling the Rande Gerber--designed cocktails. I told them that though I hadn't tried Delta...
...flight attendants. I don't know how to react to someone who is being paid to be nice to me. I'm also uncomfortable with waiters, masseurs and Scientologists. So every time I'm on a plane, I wish they would just let me get out of my seat and attend to my own in-flight needs. Delta offered to meet me halfway. I could be a flight attendant on an Atlanta--to--Los Angeles trip so long as I completed one day of its 5 1/2-week flight-attendant-training program--and also attended to the needs of everyone else...
Right before I was about to work my flight, Delta claimed that regulations prevented me from donning the Richard Tyler--designed Delta uniform. I figured a guy in jeans telling them to bring their seat backs forward would be confusing to passengers, but as soon as I started greeting people, I learned that airline passengers are not in the mood to pay attention to anything. Your flight attendant could wear a burqa, and you wouldn't notice so long as she made your little TV set work...
Flights feel much shorter when you're working them, especially since you get to walk around and drink free cocktails. As a passenger, I used to spend my flight ignoring the flight attendants' seat-belt speech and wondering if they had been hot in their 20s; as a flight attendant, I could gossip about passengers and compare restaurants around the world with my co-workers. No one was going to knock on our lavatory door if we didn't want them...
...even the harrowing fight about extending the pre-charge detention period for terror suspects is far from over. The debate is likely to surface during campaigning ahead of a by-election scheduled for June 26 in Henley, to fill the seat vacated by London's new Conservative mayor Boris Johnson. The morning after the terror vote, the Conservatives' shadow Home Secretary, David Davis, announced he is resigning his parliamentary seat to trigger a by-election in his constituency in northeastern England. He says he will use the poll to fight Labour on the erosion of civil liberties. Meanwhile...