Word: seinfeldisms
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...harbor. A global-warming documentary may be seen by few, but if its producer is Leonardo DiCaprio, journalists will turn up in droves seeking an audience. And what chance does a premiere by minimalist Taiwan master Hou Hsiao-hsien have when, that same morning, U.S. comedian Jerry Seinfeld is promoting his cartoon feature Bee Movie by dressing in a bee costume and flying, on guy wires, from the top of the Carlton Cannes Hotel across the town's oceanside boulevard to land on a pier jutting into the Mediterranean? "They tell me Scorsese did the same thing last year...
...uncovers a plot to enslave his species and, like a good Jewish bee, acts as his own lawyer in a court case presided over by Oprah Winfrey. There are also guest appearances by Larry King, Chris Rock, Ray Liotta and, apparently, any other stars Seinfeld ran into in those four years...
...When Katzenberg asked for questions, the international press was ready. "To bee or not to bee - this is the question," one journalist posed. "Will there be a C and a D movie," another asked, "and maybe an X?" Seinfeld winced at each joke. "The bee pun reflex," he observed with a kind of courtesy, "is something we've struggled with for three years." Warning to the press: Never try to make a comedian laugh...
...glided above the Croisette and, with Chris Rock doing play-by-play, landed safely on the pier. Then, after a few moments, the wires moved again and Seinfeld made a return journey. "Jerry Seinfeld forgot his keys," Rock announced, "and is going back to get them." Seinfeld managed to be his usual blasé self, saying as he flew, "They tell me Scorsese did the same thing last year for Departed." When Rock reminded him of the skimpy costume Sacha Baron Cohen wore on the Croisette last year - ?You know Borat just showed up in his underwear? - Seinfeld claimed...
...hour later, before a screening of another worthy Asian film, I told my critic colleagues I'd skipped the Hou Hsiao-hsien film to watch Seinfeld fly over Cannes in a bee suit. One of my friends shook her head pityingly. "The things they make you cover," she said...