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...This e-mail message was recently circulated to select...
...Follows:" publishes primary source material. (Documents printed in this section are real--Fifteen Minutes does NOT author the copy.) Where necessary, FM makes minor editorial changes. This e-mail message was recently circulated to select members of the Harvard junkie scene. Names have been changed to protect the guilty The message read as follows...
...everyone that housing assignments for first-year blocking groups are completely random, but since it's a known fact that more people are graduating this year from Pforzheimer. Cabot and Currier Houses than from any of the other Houses, the computer program that assigns housing this year will automatically select out blocking groups with 12 or more people and make those groups five times more likely to be placed in the Quad. Then sit back and enjoy the show...
...sixth digit in your Harvard ID number indicates your projected academic rank, as determined by the admissions office upon your acceptance. Since the admissions office must by definition select 800 students each year to form the bottom half of the class, administrators try to predict student performance, keeping careful tabs on actual performance to maintain its impressively high accuracy in such predictions. The fifth digit in your Harvard ID number indicates whether you were home-schooled...
Hibernia puts on a true St. Paddy's extravaganza, green Martinis and all. The club will give away a prize trip to Ireland as well as hold a contest to select "Boston's Most Beautiful Red-Head" at 8 p.m. Live traditional Irish music and dance tunes with DJ Mark keep the festivities swinging. Hibernia, 25 Kingston St. Boston...