Word: shad
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...months ago, the Harvard Business School opened its new marble gymnasium, Shad Hall. I've heard wonderful tales of its aesthetic splendor and bounteous athletic offerings, but I've never gotten past the front door. You see, while Harvard Business School students may freely enter the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC), Harvard undergraduates are denied access to Business School athletic facilities...
...representatives claim to have found the ideal solution to the Shad Hall problem. Instead of challenging the Business School's unethical, exclusive conduct, the UC wants to negotiate a "deal"; their proposal would allow undergraduates to use Shad Hall for a $65 fee. In short, our UC wants us to pay for something that we give free to Business School students and receive free from the Law School...
Even if I were allowed to use Shad Hall for no charge, I probably wouldn't; why go all the way to the Business School to play basketball against middle-aged men in three-piece sweatsuits when I can find a much more competitive game at the MAC? Although the Shad Hall extortion bothers me, I believe it's just one small fish in an enormous...
Aquatically speaking, in fact, a shad is a small food fish of the herring family. Herring smells awful. Likewise, the UC's "deal" reeks of poor judgement. Why should I have to pay $65 to use Shad Hall...
...about. These same misfits whose actions we generally indulge or ignore (and occasionally ridicule) aren't the harmless nuisances we've always thought they were; indeed, they're craftier than Bob Vila. Our representatives aren't whimpering dolts, they're wily entrepreneurs. A $65 fee for access to Shad Hall may not affect a lot of students, but soon, for a hefty percentage of the take, perhaps the UC will start selling off other "free" student services. Next time you're at the MAC waiting to use the overcrowded athletic facilities, think about paying $20 to use the Business School...