Word: shalt
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Thou shalt not peak too early. This is the most important rule. That’s why we put it first. Other than one of those dogs that has a skateboard in place of its hind legs, there is nothing sadder than seeing someone who peaks too early. It’s hard to believe now, but no one will remember if your penis looked big at your first Primal Scream. Everyone loves an underdog, and underdogs never start on top. This begs just one question: Is a skateboard-legs dog an “underdog?...
...Thou shalt stop rocking lanyards. To be honest, those things are kind of convenient when you are doing mad moving and performing a high volume of swipe-ins. But there is really nothing about being a freshman that makes a lanyard any more useful than it would be to most human beings, and you don’t see the rest of us with them. Think on that, brosefs...
This is very good news. The court found that balance we were looking for with respect to tech vs. content. And it upheld a very simple thought: Thou shalt not steal, even on the Internet...
...start by flipping to Leviticus 18:22, which contains the most oft-cited reference to the sinfulness of homosexuality: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” Indeed, there’s little to argue about there in terms of exegesis—the implication is quite clear. Clear, too, are the commandments a few verses later that prohibit the wearing of clothing of mixed fibers (19:19, no more cotton-poly blend), the commandment forbidding haircuts and beard-trimming (19:27), or the commandment a few pages further that...
From the literalist perspective, Jesus himself makes things pretty clear. When asked which commandment is greatest, he responds (in Matthew 22:37): “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind…the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets...