Word: shaq
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...posting illustrated interpretations of stars' Twitter posts each week. Her works play off poor grammar and lack of context for maximum comedic effect, turning everyday updates into surreal, vibrant scenes. The results include Lance Armstrong sitting on a couch with mythical creatures, Kirstie Alley in a bear suit and Shaq hunting down miniature versions of LeBron James with a butterfly...
Shaquille O'Neal can do anything, as long as that thing is telling people he can do anything. On ABC's Shaq Vs., he challenges Super Bowl champ Ben Roethlisberger to a football game; baseball's home-run leader, Albert Pujols, to a batting contest; and gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh to beach volleyball. He insists he's the greatest athlete in the world, even though the only thing he beats them at is trash-talking. O'Neal plays sports the way George W. Bush fights wars...
...Neal began by telling me he's won every contest on Shaq Vs., a bold gambit, since the two episodes that had already aired showed him losing. When I brought this up, he said, "I guarantee I beat Michael Phelps at swimming. And when I guarantee, I deliver." When I asked him what kind of handicap Phelps gave him, O'Neal said, "I win one race." Then: "Out of many races...
...always longed for Shaq-grade confidence, because to write well, you have to believe that tons of people want to know what you have to say, even though, in person, not even your wife does. So I asked O'Neal how he does it. "To this day, I don't remember myself ever missing a shot, missing a free throw or losing a game. That comes from a military background. Move on. Always move on," he said. I have no doubt that if I mentioned his movie Kazaam, he'd have no idea what I was talking about. Although neither...
Like the athletes in every episode of Shaq Vs., I found that the man had gotten into my head. Panicking, I asked him how he was going to beat me. "I probably can't," he said. This clearly was a trick, perhaps a way of distracting me while he appeared out of my boom box as a genie and dunked a basketball on my head. Seriously, I feel better every time I mention Kazaam. But then O'Neal said, "There's a difference between confident and arrogant. I'm a humble person. I'm not going up against a fifth...