Word: shark
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Dates: during 1930-1939
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Recent agitation for a Harvard policy on the man-eating shark situation is meeting with speedy and determined action from those who make it their business to reply to burning questions of the day. But already the University Museum of Comparative Zoology has scooped all other expeditions by stepping into the breach with a fish collecting trip to Cuba this winter which was announced yesterday. Although failing to realize the true significance of the shark question, the Museum has nevertheless made a great stride in the right direction. Concentrating on small fry is their only mistake...
While an opportunity for warm water fishing should not be overlooked by any Museum, it should not be taken for granted that man-eating sharks can thus lightly be ignored in favor of lesser finny denizens, or molluscs and foraminifera. The Museum has evidently seen the light, but not enough of it. Man-eaters are inclined to sneer at trawls and nets. Furthermore, they are likely to burst out in new viciousness at being over-long neglected. Various persons will then have to pay tribute with their arms and legs for shark spite...
...aware that the man-eating shark has upwards of one hundred thirty teeth arranged in double rows around the upper and lower parts of the jaw. Flat on the sides, these teeth are triangular in shape and sharp at the points. There is only one way to escape a man-eating shark if a person is thrown into the water beside him. Kick the right and left legs alternately and move the arms in a windmill fashion; the prospective victim should also call for help in a sharp tone. If this does not work, go back for further instructions...
...long can the University continue without a policy towards the man-eating shark. It is well known that the several types of this fish year in and year out cat as many as twenty or thirty persons without regard to color or occupation. Yet there has been no sign from University Hall of any interest in the matter, and persons who work in shark infested waters keep saying without much hope, "Wait till a Harvard professor is eaten by a shark. We'll see some action Then...
...fairness to University Hall and its policy towards the man-eating shark, it must be stated that the officials do not favor this type of fish. (In fact it is doubtful if they would favor any type of fish if the officials took Friday lunches in college dining halls.) Persons in touch with the shark situation, nonetheless, sometimes dream of an express liner flying the flag of the Harvard Department of Shark Hunting and touching at lonely islands in the South Pacific, four full professors playing quoits on the sports deck and the watch singing out "Shark Ahoy...