Word: shave
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...enough money left in his $300,000 budget for a last-minute TV blitz. But Evans, who has a $225,000 budget, is running short of funds and has to rely on a makeshift approach to reach large numbers of voters. Taking a tip from the old Burma Shave advertisements, he is setting up a series of signs on a busy highway in the district. They read: I'M NOT A LAWYER/ OR A DOCTOR/ DON'T CHARGE HIGH FEES/ I'M HERE WHEN YOU NEED ME/ AND THERE WHEN IT COUNTS/ RE-ELECT DAVE EVANS. Starting...
...warrants, jailing without bail, trying without defense, and condemning without trial. If you look suspicious, associate with 'subversives,' or don't appeal to your neighborhood policeman, you can be seized without explanation. During one of many arbitrary street document checks, a young man was ordered by a guardsman to shave his beard. "He told me that I looked like a revolutionary, and that he'd jail me if I didn't remove it. So I shaved it--these guys are irrational but serious...
Americans might even honor the exuberant, slightly bizarre poetry of their commercial muse. Two or three generations ago, the national laureate might have been the anonymous bard who wrote the Burma Shave roadside quatrains ("In this vale/ Of toil and sin/ Your head grows bald/ But not your chin/ Burma Shave.") The beer commercial ("You've danced all day on a pool of fire," or some such: "Now Comes Miller Time!") has invented a sort of macho haiku that might turn into a national verse form...
...Zealand's Onny Parun, 25. A good student (4.4 average on a 5.0 scale), he left high school at age 16 to turn pro. Today he possesses one of the world's most famous lucky-charm beards, his annual Wimbledon growth, but he wasn't old enough to shave the first time someone approached him for an autograph. "I was 14 and I was so proud when they asked. But every time I signed my name, it looked different. I was so embarrassed. I was only 14 and I couldn't get it right twice...
...rope, felt boots, heavy overcoats and other items in short supply for civilians are smuggled off base to nearby villages and sold or bartered for liquor. Soviet soldiers are as adept as their counterparts elsewhere in the world at concocting an alcoholic brew from such unusual sources as after-shave lotion, brake fluid, plane deicer and even shoe polish...