Word: shelley
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This unwarrantedly bitchy e-mail prompted the suggestion from Weaver’s party-planning roommate (Simpson, who had screwed up my address twice in a row) that perhaps Shelley hadn’t been laid in a while—and that perhaps this was a job for FM cover model Anthony J. Herrera ’03, also Weaver’s roommate. Herrera will not confirm whether he encountered our antagonist over that weekend, but Shelley emerged early the following week apparently in a much better mood, playfully declining Jonathan M. Lee?...
...Shelley Newman...
...this point I could no longer ignore the quickly escalating situation. Within a week Shelley had gone from being a blip on an otherwise tranquil radar of reliable e-mail correspondence to being my alter ego. She was receiving the bulk of my social e-mails, had dissed Temple Simpson (twice!) and possibly slept with Anthony Herrera. Who was this woman who was old enough to be the mother of Jon Myungsoo Lee (were he not Korean)? I was determined to put a stop to her involuntary invasion of my life...
...response came only two days later, after the former managing editor of The Crimson, Parker R. Conrad ’02-’03, e-mailed Shelley from Arkansas with the clearly drunken revelation that I look just like Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Shelley cc’d me with her reply...
...shelley newman (your name sounds fake...or worse, nuevo riche...