Word: shelleys
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...paths first crossed innocently enough. About six months ago—two years after I was assigned dnewman@fas as my e-mail address—a friend and Crimson co-worker accidentally sent Shelley the top-secret message, “i’m hungry. my tummy’s grumbling. =op” Shelley replied politely...
...Shelley newman...
...Shelley is a middle-aged woman, named after the English writer Percy Bysshe Shelley, whose hobbies include skiing and checking her e-mail. I have not actually met her (which was what Admiral Perry actually said upon beating the crap out of the British fleet during the War of 1812), but I have seen her—safely logged in at net-19427.fas.harvard.edu and at pool-141-154-119-99.bos.east.verizon.net, among other exciting locations. Shelley’s e-mail address is newman@fas.harvard.edu...
Three weeks later, Shelley received an invitation (entitled “what’s up sluts” and authored by Crimson editor Temple W. Simpson ’03) to catch up with my freshman year roommates over a slice of pizza at Pinocchio’s. It is unclear whether she took offense at being called a slut or whether she simply preferred Tommy’s to Noch’s. In any case, this time Shelley’s response was more pointed...
...would seem that my friends had learned their lesson. Yet the very next day Shelley was invited to the 21st birthday party of FM Publisher Kenyon S.M. Weaver ’03. Uninterested in the promise of “debauchery, inebriation, and surely some nudity to follow,” Shelley issued a stern rebuke to Weaver’s roommate...