Word: sheridan
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Dates: during 1940-1949
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...Harvard Lampoon chose "Oomph Girl" Ann Sheridan as movie actress most unlikely to succeed. Said she in Hollywood, where she earns approximately $100,000 a year: "I wonder what those bozos think is success. ... I don't mind criticism, but I hate to have it come from Harvard. ... I met a Harvard man once, myself. It was a very sad evening...
Concerning Anne Sheridan, whom Dave likes a lot, he was at a loss for words to explain why certain students had rated her so low in relation to other actresses. "To me," he explained, "these boys have not yet acquired that sense of judgment that comes from maturity...
...Miss Sheridan is coy. Apparently she loves only the Lampoon. For she is content to sit out on the West Coast, surrounded by still cameras, and beckon to the Poon boys to come out and learn some oomph. This is rank injustice to the rest of the college. Since apparently only she holds the key to money-making success, since most Harvard alumni are reputedly oomphless share croppers and Fuller-brush men, Miss Sheridan is needed at college to raise a new generation of oomphy grads...
Then, too, since Poon men are grinds of the first water, probably none of them could tear themselves out of the bowels of Widener long enough to whip out to the West and the arms of La Sheridan. Hence on her shapely shoulders rests the responsibility of showing the shining light of success to the benighted dramatic critic of the Poon in particular and the student body in general...
What this college needs is Ann Sheridan, visiting lecturer on oomph, in person, to melt the snow on the sidewalks, to roam through the stacks of Widener calling to the lost souls of Poon men, to burn up the boards of the New Lecture Hall...