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...Harvard laboratory monkey with a familiar name: “Steve Pinker is the dumbest monkey. He eats shit all day.” (“Steven Pinker ‘Eats Shit All Day’; He Is Also a Monkey,” March...
...titles those Real Boys unironically bestow on each other. Am I out? “Nah, man, closeted and discreet here.” Have I done stuff with guys? “Just j/o and shit. Maybe looking to do more.” I’m probably a bad person for lying about these things, but I’ve found that admitting my outness, or the fact that—gasp!—I’ve actually had sex with a guy, usually begets a terse, “Sorry, dude...
...Utter Lack Of Shame In Self-Promotion (she namedrops her own design line, L.A.M.B, in as many songs as she can). Perhaps she was shooting for another glitzy trophy to add to her mental collection when she penned the line “This is the most craziest shit ever”: Most Meta Song Lyric Of All Time. It seems fitting; after all, who knows crazy shit better than Gwen Stefani? Her “Rich Girl” video featured pirates. She sampled Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have A Dream?...
Undergraduate Council (UC) elections are boring as shit. In fact, they’re more boring than Harvard-Yale rivalry, House spirit, and Derek C. Bok combined. Imagine a supercomputer capable of sorting genetic info into cross-referenced modules. Sounds pretty sweet, huh? Nope. Super fucking boring, just like these loser elections. Nevertheless, since everyone’s talking about them we figured we’d weigh in. The root of the problem is really with the UC itself, which is the second most boring institution on campus, surpassed only by HOLLIS. Just consider parties. Most people would agree...
Snoop also shows he can get down with the new breed. The illuminating “Gangbangin’ 101” features The Game. You’d think shit would go down, since The Game is a well-known Blood, and Snoop incessantly references his Crip heritage. But you’d be wrong. The song is a plea for the two gangs to combine into an even more fearsome force. Their peacefulish, emptyish sentiment is neatly summarized by The Game with this lovely couplet: “I’m Martin Luther King with two guns...