Word: shorter
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This year, even though sophomore Trey Hendricks was the team’s best hitter all year, even though freshmen Schuyler Mann and Ian Wallace turned in key hits and junior relievers Kenon Ronz and Barry Wahlberg made games down the stretch seem two innings shorter, this championship belonged to the Class of 2002. Everyone contributed to the title run. The seniors...
...first, I tried to downplay the awkward spectacle of a bulky six-foot male riding shotgun to a female eight inches shorter and roughly half his body weight, giving our fellow riders the “I’m just letting the li’l lady take my chopper for a spin” nod. Detecting a measure of disbelief on the part of our fellow riders, I soon reverted to the more readily believed “I’ve misplaced my penis and she’s helping me to locate it?...
...Four: Skip the prune fingers. This is not a time for daily baths. Instead, strive for shorter showers (and see Six for even more efficient personal hygiene...
...acclaimed jazz singer: 1) Skip all slow songs more than five minutes long that have contemplative, New Age ambiance, acoustic guitar and solemn lyrics. This includes Wilson's spaced-out cover of the Band's The Weight, which drags like a lead trailer. 2) Dance contentedly to her shorter originals, like Show Me a Love. 3) Listen to the traditional jazz number Darkness on the Delta and the blues classic You Gotta Move, and find yourself transported by her low, earthy voice. Mourn that she so often wastes it on distractingly pretentious material (see Step 1). --By Benjamin Nugent
Self-congratulation has rarely had a shorter half-life. Within hours, Bush's plans to go global with the war on terror were crowded out by new images of violence from the Middle East, where the endless fight between Israelis and Palestinians plunged once more into the abyss of total war. Televisions in the White House and around the world showed 40 tanks and 100 armored personnel carriers rumbling into the West Bank town of Ramallah; Israeli troops blindfolding Palestinian teenagers and machine-gunning Arab homes; an Arab mob executing a suspected Israeli collaborator, then hanging his body...