Word: shower
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...wrist some, ahem, vigorous exercise last month at the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC). Rather than pump iron, this man decided to pump something else—in the men’s locker room. Yes, ndorphins weren’t the only thing released during one post-workout shower...
...March 24, the Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) investigated a report of possible masturbation, according to the police log. HUPD was called after a man was seen masturbating by another patron in the open shower of the men’s locker room, says a member of the MAC staff. Unfortunately, this self-loving bandit managed to escape before he could be apprehended. Following fruitless investigation, the case was recently closed...
...masturbator remains loose, our showers remain unsafe. Staff members say that they received an e-mail instructing them to be on the lookout for suspicious locker room behavior. But because putting video cameras in the locker rooms would be both sketchy and really, really unconstitutional, no other measures can be taken to protect our showers. MAC lovers beware—don your shower shoes, because the tiled floors may be “slippery when wet” for more than one reason...
...German surrender had been signed early on May 7, and almost all the fighting had ended well before that. "We play softball every afternoon," a member of the U.S. 667th Field Artillery Battalion, at a German village near the Czech border, wrote in his diary. "I've had a shower, two movies and a U.S.O. show." Wrote one of his buddies: "V-E day. Just another day. Didn't seem to make a hell of a lot of difference...
...Senate Budget Committee, called him "the most effective OMB Director we've ever had."[*] Even the Washington Post's editorialists, often critical of Stockman's cuts, commended him "for a kind of intellectual and moral integrity that is rarely found in national public life." Stockman was bemused by the shower of accolades. "I never knew I had so many well-wishers until I decided to leave," he quipped. "Now I know why they write obituaries...