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...Swiss government, which yesterday put its 332.2 million UBS shares, valued at $5.6 billion, up for sale - a sign, market analysts say, that the government's trust in the bank's ability to raise capital has been restored - also expressed its satisfaction with the settlement. "We have managed to avoid a conflict between the sovereignty of two states," Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf told the press, while Finance Minister Hans-Rudolf Merz urged the country's banks to respect the law. "It's the least they can do," he said...
...Predictions: When you find an actual room party, in all its sketchy, sweaty glory, someone in your group will get violently ill. You will discover Felipe’s and the Kong. And UHS. You’ll sign up for Ballroom Dancing and comp Women-in-Business and The Crimson. Nearly everyone you know will join the crew team. You probably will...
...activities fair will probably be overwhelming, especially since you’re used to doing five extracurriculars and being internationally recognized for all of them. This will likely no longer hold true. And even though the value of resume padding has declined significantly, you’ll still unfathomably sign up for all sorts of extracurriculars that you have no actual interest in. Your environmentally conscious heart will sob at the absurd amount of (useless) fliers you receive...
...Sign up for intramurals...
...meeting/seminar/movie showing/date event, they will do so by offering you free food. Do not be hoodwinked. True, it will taste better than dining hall fare. And, true, it will cost nothing. But showing up to everything “just for the food” is a tell-tale sign that the 15 are on their way. So, be judicious. If you know you’re going to be a Chemistry concentrator, skip the Psychology department’s “Burritos, Brain, and Behavior.” But when there’s dessert from Finale...