Word: silents
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...skeptical Bethany travels from Illinois to Jersey, occasionally accompanied by a hot-wired demon (Jason Lee), a celestial muse (Salma Hayek), the 13th Apostle--and a pair of unlikely prophets, motormouthing Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith), the cynical chorus from the writer-director's previous films Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing...
...experienced nothing but misfortune in her life. Fortunately, she isn't alone in her quest. Joined by Rufus (Chris Rock), the 13th Apostle who was left out of the Bible because he was black, a muse named Serendipity (Salma Hayek), and who other than Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith himself) as prophets, Bethany gets plenty of attention. This holy brigade isn't exactly brimming with talented actors; Rock, though funny, regurgitates instead of speaks his lines, and Salma's stripping muse seems superfluous until you remember that Smith's core audience is teenagers. Fiorentino is the only actor...
...mood and get more than their fair share of screen time. Although some of duo's jokes are simply bromidic facsimiles of the gags from the other Jersey flicks (like I've never heard Jay say "hard-on" before), most remind you that one can never have enough Silent Bob and Jay. Fans needn't be concerned...
...which fly at more than 20,000 ft. to avoid Iraqi fire. "They're making adjustments that allow them to cover more altitude," he says. The Iraqis fire usually with no electronic guidance, which would sound an alarm in U.S. cockpits. Often the only alert pilots have is the silent pop of charcoal-gray puffs of smoke from exploding artillery hundreds or thousands of feet below. U.S. pilots say they attack only after Iraqi forces threaten them...
...Indeed, a clumsy and hackneyed remake like The Bachelor makes one yearn for the elegant tightness of the silent era. Go out and rent Seven Chances (and The General, while you're at it) and watch a couple of sitcom reruns, and you'll have outdone any sort of entertainment that The Bachelor has to offer...