Word: simpson
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...their thesis is completed and get surprised with a swift kick from oral examinations. An empathetic FM offers 15 things to say if you blank out. (FM is not responsible for the consequences) 1) I feel this oral examination is concentration-normative. 2) Karl Marx, Friedrich Hegel and Jessica Simpson walk into a bar... 3) My dog was stoned and ate all my books. He was very hungry. 4) How’s your marriage, Professor? Not having enough sex? Feel the need to take your frustrations out on undergrads? 5) I may not know the answer to that...
...Blair G. Hoxby showed up these slackers by having all his lines from “Much Ado About Nothing” down pat. FM gives him extra props for creating some serious sexual tension with his female TF, who repeatedly groped him throughout their scene. Professor W. James Simpson was the one doing the violating in his scene, where he showed off his dramatic flair by adding in some improvised ass-grabbings of his TF while they performed a scene from “The Taming of the Shrew.” Erenest Burnbaum Professor of Literature Daniel Albright...
What do O.J. Simpson and Pharaoh of the Old Testament have in common? As of last Monday, both have benefited from the legal counsel of Alan Dershowitz. The Frankfurter Professor of Law showed off his debating chops by defending the notorious anti-Semite before an anything-but-impartial jury in a mock trial staged at Harvard Hillel. In a partially scripted exchange peppered with Old Testament allusions and political wisecracks, Dershowitz stood his ground against prosecuting attorney Austryn Professor of Jewish Studies Jay Harris, who accused Pharaoh of committing crimes against humanity. Dershowitz retorted that Pharoah could not be convicted...
...over 100 attendees while Dershowitz defended Pharaoh. “This isn’t the first time I’ve defended political characters,” Dershowitz said. “Last year at the Divinity School, I defended Jesus. And then, of course, there was OJ Simpson.” The trial was marked by the professors’ jokes and jabs at each other, though they did give opening statements, cross-examined “witnesses,” and delivered closing statements. Executive Director of Hillel Bernard Steinberg, who moderated yesterday’s event...
...Almost everything but the mannequins themselves seemed to have come off a ranch. Ponyskin and calf were favorites. Designer John Weitz cut a pair of pants out of saddle leather, lined a coat of the same fabric with a horse blanket. Adele Simpson put some of her models in outfits with matching boots, either knee- or ankle-height, all high-heeled. No one did anything with an armadillo. The hit of the week, as much for his hot running commentary as for his clothes, was Oleg Cassini. NATTY IN A NAVY BLUE, NIPPED-IN-WAISTED SUIT, CASSINI PEPPERED HIS COLLECTION...