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...because I honestly cannot think of another scenario where you would actually choose to eat one of those over the dining hall’s semi-divine chicken parmesan cutlets. Forget the other food groups—this guy’s diet has slightly less variety than my sister??s pet hamster. You have got to give him credit, though. He knows exactly what he wants out of life, unlike many students here, who have as much trouble figuring out what they want for dinner as they do figuring out what concentration to choose...

Author: By Eric A. Kester | Title: First Annual HUDSIE Awards | 12/4/2006 | See Source »

...tells Marshall’s prospective employer that he joined the Taliban, he covertly monitors her phone conversations, she cheats on him in his bedroom with his best friend, he tries to sabotage her sister??s wedding by starting a fight at the bachelor party—and this is barely the beginning...

Author: By Kyle L. K. Mcauley, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: A Sadistic Divorce Undeterred by 9/11 | 10/4/2006 | See Source »

...elder Kushner also gained notoriety for hiring a prostitute to seduce his sister??s husband, videotaping the affair, and having the video sent to his sister. Kushner admitted that he did this in retaliation for her having cooperated with an investigation into his business activities, according to The Times...

Author: By Paras D. Bhayani, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Kushner Buys NY Observer | 8/4/2006 | See Source »

...proportions. My grandmother was diagnosed with two forms of cancer. Since then, she has endured multiple surgeries and a brutal round of chemotherapy, all with a brave face and immeasurable dignity. She arranged her treatment schedule to be able to prepare our annual Thanksgiving feast and attend my little sister??s Bat Mitzvah. Although she has been sapped of her strength, she has not been robbed of her customary biting wit. I’ve heard her continue to tease my grandfather, as is her wont, but haven’t yet heard her complain...

Author: By Jonathan Lehman, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: IN LEHMAN'S TERMS: Essence of Curveball Hard to Capture | 5/4/2006 | See Source »

...urban myths about demonic subliminal messages in heavy metal music. Unlike some of their influences, The Furnaces have a great sense of humor. On “Oh Sweet Woods,” Eleanor Friedberger—the band’s vocalist and Matthew’s little sister??sings of being kidnapped by fanatical Mormon missionaries. Eleanor’s deadpan vocal performance heightens the absurdity of the events she recounts, and Matthew’s haunting acoustic guitar provides the perfect melodic background for her gonzo tale. “Borneo...

Author: By Bernard L. Parham, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: The Fiery Furnaces | 4/19/2006 | See Source »

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