Word: sitcomming
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...ironic since this is also the network that gave us "Forever Eden," "The Littlest Groom," and other shows that would give a surfeit of pleasure to the stupid, if only they could find them. In total, it announced 17 new shows, not counting one - the animated sitcom "Family Guy" - which the network canceled twice before and has un-canceled again. (New episodes return in summer 2005.) A list follows, but be warned: You can either read this list, or you can actually watch TV. There is not enough time in one life to do both...
...Quintuplets," a sitcom in which Fox tries to make good for canceling the fantastic "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" by casting Richter as the frazzled dad of 15-year-old quints...
...Related by Family," from the creator of "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," a sitcom about teenage kids, including a stepbrother and stepsister, working at a mall food court. Between this and "Quintuplets," couldn't they have just saved half the money and brought "Universe" back...
...American Dad," an animated sitcom from "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, about a typical suburban dad who secretly works for the CIA. It's like "Alias," but with less moony-faced romance and spies dressed up like hookers, and more talking goldfish...
...returning to the fall schedule, Saturday nights at 9 p.m. (The drawback: it was planned to run this summer, but they may hold the summer season for September.) On the flip side, for all you fans of "Yes, Dear" - the ratings tell me you actually do exist - the sitcom is off the fall schedule; CBS has ordered 13 episodes as a midseason replacement...