Word: slave
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...Candie admits to being as much of a fashion slave as the next girl. Once in a blue moon, though, she suffers a rare relapse into good taste...depending on how many diet pills she's spiked her breakfast espresso with. After temporarily overdosing on Xenical this morning, Candie had a panic attack and sniffed out something rotten in the state of Trendiness...
...Porcupine's Gazette on behalf of Hamilton and his law-and-order Federalists. His rival in vitriol is James Thomson Callender, wanted for sedition in his native Scotland. He was Jefferson's hit man who, when slighted by the Sage of Monticello, spread informed innuendo about his arrangement with slave and lover Sally Hemings. Public reaction to the disclosure makes the Clinton-Lewinsky affair look like a casual game of spin the bottle...
...offered the seemingly paranoid suggestion that men might eventually keep just a few women around in "reproductive brothels," gestating on demand. A guy will pick an ovum for attractive qualities like smart, tall and allergy-free, then have it inserted into some faceless surrogate mother employed as a reproductive slave...
...Lucky r-dubs can use laptop computers and e-mail their handiwork back home. The rest have to dust off skills abandoned since elementary school and put actual pen to actual paper. Not just any words will do for the slave drivers in the home office. Let's Go witticisms are a must for any r-dub. If the r-dub can't produce, editors step in. The result is that special smart-assed Harvard prose only John Updike's mother could love...
...right," said Buckwheat. "It's like there's a deliberate effort to whitewash all that ugly history. Take the national Capitol in Washington. Many of the huge sandstone blocks it's built out of were quarried by slave laborers. In fact, The Statue of Freedom--the figure of a Native American woman warrior that stands on the dome--was cast in bronze by slave laborers in 1863 and hoisted up there. You'd think there would be a national museum or monument to them, but there isn't even a plaque...