Word: snail
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Stupidly--smartly is not within their natural range--a bunch of guys at mythical Ithaca College snail-mail the wrong videotape. They think they are sending the one in which Josh (Breckin Meyer) expresses his moony affection for his lifelong girlfriend Tiffany (Rachel Blanchard), who is studying veterinary medicine in faraway Austin, Texas. What they actually dispatch is hard evidence that he has strayed with Beth (Amy Smart...
...metabolic rate 19% and burns 11 extra calories. That may not sound like much, but researchers calculate that chewing every waking hour can knock off 10 lbs. a year. The experiment illustrates that even the most trivial increase in activity can affect weight. Another example: strolling at a snail's pace (1 m.p.h.) doubles metabolic rate and burns 62 calories an hour. Better still, try walking and chewing gum at the same time...
Some sites, of course, were better prepared than others. By bringing on enough servers to handle peak-load traffic, the best avoided "site busy" messages and snail-like downloads. They also kept puzzled shoppers from fleeing by providing an 800 number or offering real-time Instant Messaging chats with customer reps. And they avoided apoplectic rages by "integrating" their inventory systems so that what appears to be in stock on the website corresponds with what's actually on the shelves...
...beat anything, anything you'll ever see in Barnum and Bailey--in "Mystere," there's an entire sequence of bungee jumping acrobats costumed as birds), you're treated to a two or three minute interlude of dazzling fantasy: a parade of stilted clowns dressed as elephants, a giant inflated snail floating across the stage, a five-foot baby bouncing a giant ball around the theater, a mirror reflecting the audience onto the ceiling. Maybe one day it will be trendy to like Cirque du Soleil--and shows will pop up all over the country just like Riverdance. Oooh. The thought...
...Reserve. He is currently undergoing basic training - boot camp - and then will spend several months in an Army journalism school. Given the difficulty the armed forces are experiencing in recruiting qualified young people these days, we think his experiences and impressions are worth sharing. His dispatches, some handwritten and snail-mailed (Internet cafes are evidently not part of the standard equipment at basic training), are arriving irregularly. Here is the first, and others will be posted as they arrive. I was expecting something, well, more paternalistic. An Army that would take me off the bus with nothing but the clothes...