Word: soaps
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...spirit of such soft-core sports events as "Battle of the NFL Cheerleaders," "Battle of the Network Superstars," and "Battle of the Soap Opera Idols," ETS has introducted its own barely-athletic competition. Taking the best elements of "Name That Tune," "The Price is Right," and "Password Plus," ETS is now playing "Guess Your Score," a rigorous psychic battle pitting student against testing service official...
...sweet-smelling of odors and one which you cannot buy, for it is nothing less than a confused compound, a farrago of a thousand smells. Even could you afford to buy the thousand bottles of perfume and eau de cologne, the bath powders, and the multiple packages of amber soap that lie in tissue-papered state, you still would not have smell, unless you could also the time, the long, bored months during which the smells gathered and deepened on the shelf...
Here on the center shelves are the prosaic items, toothbrushes and toothpaste, utilitarian, kid-proofed bottles of aspirin, razor blades, wart-burning solutions, hemorrhoid suppositories, the banal soaps of everyday for people who use soap to get clean. You notice the preponderance of American trochees: Colgate, Ben-Gay, Right Guard, Band Aids, Q-TIPS...
...best part is the soaps. The soap opera Christmas season begins as soon as the World Series ends, and it proceeds in a hysterical fashion for three more months, milking the advertisers' good cheer for every last dime. Turn on a soap in the last quarter of the year. Even odds says some kid--whose father is in jail because they say he killed his wife's boyfriend who is not really her boyfriend because she is actually having an affair with her husband's sister--is discussing with his good-hearted grandfather where to spend the holidays. The grandfather...
...motive power behind this prime-time soap opera, but there is no slighting of the six other deadly sins either -particularly avarice. The ranch house could pass for the Southfork Hilton, and it must take a tanker and a half to fuel all those Mercedes in the driveway. The lovely Ewing ladies flop around the house in designer dresses, and when the good ole boys go hunting, they don't pile into a pickup. They whir away in a helicopter...