Word: sobbing
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People of the Week SOB STORY His employees might be broke thanks to his company's creative accounting, but ex-Enron CEO Kenneth Lay and his wife Linda are also feeling the pain. The couple claim they are nearing bankruptcy because their fortune is locked in worthless Enron stock. Hmm, sounds familiar...
...miniature version of the entire conflict in the former Yugoslavia--the implacable hatred of the combatants, the idealism of the peacekeepers warring with the dithering cynicism arising from the complexities of the problem they're trying to solve, the impotence of journalism to do much more than a sob-sister...
Anyway, the original's achievement had nothing to do with craft, subtlety or writing; it was all about blending humor, sports and unabashed sap to make guys unembarrassed to sob, at the precipice of the sensitive '70s. (A year later, football star Rosie Grier sang It's All Right to Cry in the seminal children's album Free to Be You and Me.) Brian's Song was wholly of its time, when football was a rising competitor to baseball, when the civil-rights struggle was fresh in the public mind, when men were redefining manhood...
...finally, don't say goodbye in her room, where she will be uncomfortably aware of other people and will need to act aloof. Take her out to the parking lot, where she can give you a real hug and where you can sob uncontrollably. You'll feel better...
Before you go crafting your sob story, it bears noting that college admissions officers are among the world's finest b.s. detectors. A case in point: a student's Cornell essay about a relative's homosexuality struck an admissions reader as gratuitous: "This has got shock value written all over...