Word: spandex
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...trilogy's first ballet, "Waterbaby Bagatelles," with choreography by the ultra-innovative Twyla Tharp, ranges from hauntingly mechanical to precociously cute. A gigantic grid of flourescent lights dangling at varying angles just inches above the dancers' heads adds to the surreal, Blade Runner-esque mood onstage. No-sweat-showing spandex and stretch velvet seem to be costume designer Santo Loquasto's fabrics of choice for this production--the men don shimmery silver tank tops and billowy white pants, while the women wear either two-color fluttery gowns resembling beach cover-ups, or bathing beauty-style suits and hair kercheifs...
Julianne Moore has a few great moments as a seductive experimental artist. John Turturro is also on hand as the egocentric, purple spandex-clad bowler Jesus Quintana, quite possibly the more outrageous character he as ever played...
...year-old Savage, whose real name isRandy Poffo, arrived for the event in a silverDodge Viper, dressed in a black leather jacket,spandex pants and a t-shirt with the word"MADNESS" emblazoned...
Other events I don't get include the luge and bobsled. Actually, I feel that way about pretty much anything involving men in spandex...
Also, in a much-needed move to fight Quad stereotypes, the catapult operators would be required to grab any Quadling who came to breakfast wearing inappropriate clothing (including, but not limited to, nightgowns, obvious pajamas, bathrobes and spandex-based ensembles) and hurl them into Connecticut...