Word: spock
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...With impeccable timing, Abrams welcomes the rest of the old crew of the Enterprise, young and fresh again, one by one to his dance floor. First up is Spock (Zachary Quinto, a slightly sexier version of Leonard Nimoy), who was bullied on Vulcan for having a human mother (Winona Ryder, seemingly still in character and costume from a Grey Gardens audition) and chose to take refuge in the Starfleet Academy. Then comes Uhura (Zoe Saldana), who rejects Kirk's leering come-on with just the crisp efficiency you'd expect...
...ultimate back-story, and the heart of the movie, as it should be, is the love story between Kirk and Spock. It's a tumultuous affair, full of insults ("Who was that pointy-eared bastard?"), jealousy and even an expulsion from the Enterprise. It's a good thing that we already know that they live long, prosper - and bicker - together for years to come...
...Trekker - choose your suffix. "The whole point was to try to make this movie for fans of movies, not fans of Star Trek, necessarily," he has said. Star Trek - just Star Trek, straight, no chaser - is Abrams' attempt to reverse-engineer the early years of Kirk and Spock and the rest of the original-series crew. It's like a Stanislavskian exercise, retroactively endowing the characters with a set of childhood memories (rather like the replicants in Blade Runner) that explain how they became who they are. (Captain, it appears we are caught in a time loop...
...until the third grade. 15. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur. 16. A horse once fell over while I was riding it. 17. I don't believe in democracy. 18. I cried when Spock died in Star Trek II. (See the top 10 1950s sci-fi movies.) 19. I drink two glasses of wine every night before bed. Wait, did I just admit to alcoholism? 20. If you asked me to tell you my favorite movie, I would have a hard time not saying Titanic...
...which holds that voters leaning toward Obama will walk into the voting booth and suddenly think, I cannot take four years of listening to that giant-eared nerd. Because people are starting to realize that Obama is not all that cool. He's earnest like C-3PO, emotionless like Spock, overly practical like Encyclopedia Brown and incredibly skinny like C-3PO, Spock and Encyclopedia Brown...