Word: sprayings
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...presentation. It is an afternoon of admonitions: "Don't buy a shirt that's whiter than your teeth . . . Do not purchase 100% linen for business because you will look like an unmade bed by 10 a.m. . . . Accept baldness . . . Don't try to wrap your hair around your head and spray it in place like a helmet...
...Alar on apples, it turns out that 60 Minutes did not highlight the fact that only 5% of apple growers who account for the U.S. harvest spray with Alar. On Thursday three federal agencies responsible for food safety declared that apples are not dangerous to eat and that Alar is not an "imminent hazard" to children. Nonetheless, that same day Meryl Streep testified before a packed Senate Labor and Human Resources subcommittee hearing on Alar's use, "Even now, we don't know what's on our food . . . I no longer want my children to be part of this experiment...
Later, as I rehashed the discussion with my friend Roberta, as I shall call her, because that is her name, she suggested, "We should just go over to his room and spray some shaving cream all over his face so that he learns to stop taking himself so goddamn seriously...
...Professor Chave as just plain Anna or Professor Jardine as just plain Alice and talking about the struggle she is going to have with writing a purely theoretical thesis. And the whole time, I just wish to myself that I had a can of shaving cream with me to spray on this woman's face so that she would shut up and recognize that she is essentially a goofball like the rest...
...sick of it. I'm just really sick of people who don't get the joke. Any joke. And since I don't think I'm ever going to have the courage to walk up to these various oh-so-sincere types and spray shaving cream on their faces, here are some of the people I'd like...