Word: springered
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Asked which threat to the region is most pressing, Terry Springer replies with a fable of a puppy crossing the river with a knapsack. As the little dog crosses the river, people gradually add stones to the knapsack until the puppy drowns. "Which stone killed the puppy?" asks Springer...
...policy of this column to endorse political candidates. That's because this column doesn't usually know anything about political candidates. But about Jerry Springer, who is considering running for Senator in Ohio, we know a lot. We even scored a bootleg copy of the episode where the guy makes out with the horse...
While I may not know exactly what a Senator does, I'm pretty sure Springer would be good at it. Not only is he accustomed to acrimonious debate, but if two Senators start to mix it up on the floor, then Steve Wilkos, the off-duty cop who doubles as Springer's bodyguard, would break things up. Wilkos would have been right in between Charles Sumner and Preston Brooks in 1856, when Sumner took a wicked cane beating that left him unconscious...
...longtime Springer supporter, I'm upset that the media aren't taking his candidacy as seriously as Hillary Clinton's. Hillary has never run for office; Springer was a five-term city councilman and a two-term mayor of Cincinnati who wrestled a bear during his tenure. And while I don't know Hillary's opinions other than on health care and how mental abuse leads to randiness, Springer drops science at the end of every episode. There isn't an issue he hasn't examined. Forget Social Security and child care. This guy has looked into...
...mayor from 1977-81, Springer spent a night in jail to illustrate the awful conditions in the local prisons and fought to bring rock concerts to the conservative city. Which was a great idea except for that 1979 Who concert that turned into a stampede...