Word: stared
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...mother, however, has harped on my staring for a long time, now. She says that I stare so much that I miss a lot of things. I tell her that I am staring at what's important right now, and that I'll stare at other things later, when I get the time. She's frustrated by this, but I've just continued to stare at what I want to, and she's just continued to be frustrated...
...course, I have already been staring at terrible things for the last few weeks, violent things. But these things have been on the other side of the world, far away from me and far away from my thesis. But I have been staring at them, and it seems as though every time I pause from staring at my own words to see if the terrible things have gotten better. They haven't, and I stare at things that seem only to get worse...
...true. I've stared at terrible things before. I've been here for a while now, and, during that time, there have been plenty of terrible things to stare at. And yet, the terror of those things has always seemed transient, as if I stared at them long enough (or simply turn my gaze), the terrible things would soon pass away. This, however, seems different. It was terrible once, and then it got better. There was hope. But now, well, I have never had to stare at something that seemed so promising but new seems desperate, even hopeless...
...Staring at these types of things has done nothing for my thesis. My mother, who shakes her head at how much time I spend staring at my screen for a moment's worth of inspiration tells me that I need to stop staring and get a life, instead. She assures me that, in a month, no one will ever stare at my thesis, again. She calls this encouragement...
...these things I have been pausing to stare at lately, these terrible things going on half way around the world, well, they just don't belong. They don't seem right. They weren't supposed to happen this way. And they threaten this luxury of mine...