Word: stashed
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...other women, the secret funds are simply a way to acquire some financial independence. Jennifer, 40, started her stash several years ago, when she ran a home-based business and got tired of her husband's nosing around in her books. "Every time I turned around, he'd ask me which bills I had paid and how much was in my bank account," she complains. "It was aggravating." So with a few computer keystrokes, Jennifer altered the entries in her Quicken accounting program, derailing her husband's ability to keep track of her income...
...cashes her child-care reimbursement checks and stores her loot in a secret location in her bedroom. She spends the money on clothes for work and toys for the kids. "It's not like I waste it," she says. "It's just kind of nice to have your own stash and know you don't have to answer...
...course, if an unsuspecting spouse discovers a large stash, it can undermine the trust in a marriage. Psychologists point to another danger: stashes that are used to avoid conflict. "Money is such a loaded issue, many couples don't have the communication skills to talk about it," says Ellyn Bader, co-founder of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, Calif. But if you never engage your husband in frank discussions about the budget, you may drift further apart, she warns. "I see lots of premature divorces among couples who keep things so toned down that eventually the relationship feels empty...
...Seattle couple has opted to stick with the stash but set aside the secrecy. Cindy, 53, started stockpiling cash in the late 1990s, when the family business slumped. "There was a lot of tension, and I had seen some ugly divorces," she explains. so she began to stow $100 bills in an old pair of alligator shoes hidden under a pile of hats in a closet. Two years ago, when the family finances had stabilized, she told her husband about her stash. By then it was so large--$12,000--that she felt he should know about it in case...
Soon Cindy realized she missed her "security blanket," so she started stashing again, this time with her husband's knowledge. Last summer, when he decided to save for a trip to Israel with their son, her husband started his own stash. "He's not half as adept at it as I am," Cindy says, laughing. That's why she decided to help him out. Tucked into this year's birthday card was her contribution to his private cache: three crisp $100 bills...