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...course, the twinned eviscerations of Hilles Library and the QRAC were only the latest in a long string of indignities visited upon Dartboard since his kicking, screaming Quadding last March. Dartboard’s very means of escape from the erstwhile Radcliffe dorms is an existential insult: the Khruschevan reminiscence that is the Shuttle. Confronted each morning by the Shuttle’s dingy used-to-be-crimson paint job and dimly-lit interior, Dartboard has started to feel like a washed-up actor who, on an agent’s bad advice, has taken on an interminably recurring guest...
...After a string of 36 straight days of “essences” emanating from the common room of Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04 and Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04, their tutor has expressed concern about their mental health. In an unprecedented medical miracle, Mussolini and Patel have discovered the cure for mental health problems, which apparently involves a strict regimen of Febreze, lots of ventilation, wet towels under all doors and a strategically placed air purification device...
Jimmy directs us to the next tableau. The hanging of George Burrows, one of the accused, is represented by My Little Pony-sized figures. A doll version of Burrows hangs from a good three inches of string. I look closely. There’s no blood. The doll is smiling. Before we can take it in, a new tour guide has replaced Jimmy. “My name is Laura and I’m going to see you through to the end. On your left, you’ll see a witch...
...economic recovery, 18 companies sold initial shares in the third quarter, and a notable backlog is building. In every cycle, the best companies go public first. In general, these are companies that were strong enough to survive the weak economy. Also, investment bankers realize they need a string of solid deals to build investor confidence...
Speaking of movies, in a seemingly unrelated event, President Bush visited California recently to meet with Arnold Schwarzenegger, whom his party had placed in the California Governor’s office with little apparent concern for the revelation of a string of sexual incidents from his not-too-distant past. Some of the alleged incidents border on assault and, if true, make Clinton look like a choirboy. (Rather than deny them, Arnold promised on TV before his election that he would “get into all those specifics and find out what is going on” just...