Word: stylistics
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...started shouting at the guy in the booth, who seemed to have broken the voting apparatus. "You've been working out too much!" they yelled. That was generous, considering it seemed the equipment was manufactured by Philco-Bendix. While we were waiting, the man in front of me, stylist Wayne Lukas, turned to me and said, "You're cute." So we started talking, you know. Wayne told me it was his first time voting, and he wasn't happy about the line. "You can vote for the VH1 freaking Fashion Awards online securely, but here nothing works," he said...
With the nails of a Dream Team member, I headed to Natasha Matthews, a hair stylist recommended to me by swimmer Jenny Thompson. Matthews thought that even with a severe trimming, the best she could do was make me look like a chess player. Annoyed, I sat down in front of Donna Bushell, who worked in the next chair...
...flushing toilet b) a stylist c) an inbred son d) wondered which general made the general's chicken...
...shoot, a stylist brought me into the wardrobe room, which, I noticed nervously, was full of shoes that didn't have laces. He was joined by two female interns. As I stripped down to my boxers, I couldn't help feeling like a piece of meat. A piece of meat that neither of the women was looking at despite my repeated exclamations of "Those sit-ups really do pay off!" and "For the love of God, look...
...stylist gave me a red turtleneck, a custom-made black corduroy suit and boots whose toes actually came to a point. I wondered what purpose these pictures would serve. Would a reader really think, If Joel Stein is wearing an $800 turtleneck and a $5,000 corduroy suit, then I'd better get me some...