Word: suck
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Remember, if you don't use Crest, you suck...
...SUGAR The Merck Manual has long been an important physician's reference book. The 1899 manual, though, rereleased as a companion to its new centennial edition, makes one wonder what folks will think of our medical practices in 100 years. Some of the alarming advice: for alcoholism, slowly suck an orange. For an earache, pour "hot as it can be borne" water in the ear. Drink a cup of coffee to help combat insomnia, and administer electric shocks to cut short a hysteria attack. Bleeding from a jugular vein will help with acute bronchitis, and morphine suppositories can alleviate vomiting...
...SUBJECTING US TO INVASIVE MEDICAL PROCEDURES, MTV MIGHT HAVE LET us move inside and out of the rain. No such luck. We still have one more hour on the sidewalk. Now, however, we are out on Broadway beneath the windows of the MTV studios, and in an effort to suck every last drop of free publicity out of our suffering, we are offered "Wannabee a VJ" signs to carry while we wait. We decline the honor, but those around us embrace their servitude with glee...
...entice audiences. And while Dr. Seuss knew only red and blue fish, Harvard students are privy to all these magical slippery scales. The fish range in size from one to two feet long, and although they are fed daily, they appreciate dining hall treats---not to mention the occasional suck on a meaty finger or toe. But have no fear, unlike the students at the business school, these toothless fish are not of the piranha persuasion...
...spirit of avuncular guidance that has descended on this campus, I offer my counsel--not on how to get the most out of pre-frosh weekend, but rather how to suck the marrow out of high school's final days. When you go back home, take time to appreciate...