Word: supermarketeers
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...call their movies lousy, you can say they gave their daughters weird names, but don't say anything disparaging about their marriage. DEMI MOORE and BRUCE WILLIS have sued the supermarket tabloid the Star for suggesting that their union was over and that Moore had spent a wild night with Johnny Depp. (The National Enquirer said she was with Leonardo DiCaprio, which for some reason didn't offend the couple enough to sue.) Moore and Willis have also taken action against an Australian magazine called New Idea, which said Demi's obsession with fitness and an eating disorder were rupturing...
...much for the plot, which is never the strength of a spoof. "MiB" is a patchwork of moments--here, definitely, the parts are greater than the whole. The movie's at its best when poking fun at the tabloid culture that thrives on alleged alien sightings. Supermarket tabloids are the real news sources for the MiB (quips Jones: "you can read the New York Times if you like, they sometimes get it right"). The story of a farm wife, Beatrice (appropriately illustrated with an adapted copy of "American Gothic"), who claims that an alien's wearning her husband Edgar...
...Hicks, Paris High School should've-been class of '93. Had he lived 14 miles away in Oklahoma, which has no statewide exit test, he'd have received a diploma and would now be serving his country in the Navy. Instead Hicks serves customers in a Paris supermarket; he won management's Aggressive Hospitality Award for 1996. "He's a great employee, a bright young man--extremely hardworking," says store director Larry Legg. "He has the capability to go as far as he wants." But how far can one go without a high school diploma...
...within the industry. Miller Lite's new TV spots viciously attack advertising standbys--machismo, sex, telemarketing--with spots "approved" by "Dick," a faux "creative superstar." Sample: an older couple necking on a couch. The campaign, designed to reach the crucial twentysomething age bracket, has helped lift the brand's supermarket sales 12% since January. Says Scott Donaton, executive editor of Advertising Age: "Fallon likes to take the status quo and just shake the hell out of it." But being risky doesn't necessarily mean being effective. Fallon's work for McDonald's Arch Deluxe featured kids frowning at the prospect...
While Jarrell was the most disastrously affected, tornadoes struck a wide area from Waco to hill country south of Austin. Elsewhere, however, the destruction in the path of the storm, which led to three other deaths, seemed almost whimsical. The roof was ripped off a supermarket in Cedar Park, but when shoppers who had taken refuge in the freezer section emerged, they saw apples and melons still neatly stacked in the produce department. Dan Wachoub was barbecuing in his backyard when he saw what appeared to be black smoke behind his home. He went inside and called the fire department...