Word: surfboard
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...other thing which irks me is that Coolspeak is so damned inappropriate here. Maybe Nerdspeak or Snobspeak, or even Paranoidspeak but not Coolspeak. Only about 10 people here are authentic blondes, and very few of them have either a tan or a surfboard. Consequently, when I see some pale, hairy organism loping out of the Science Center and telling some equally unfortunate companion about his "tubular" new vector conversion program, I am overcome by irony and grief...
...beach look leaves some veteran wave climbers bemused. Ed Hagan, 33, of Queens, N.Y., remembers how at the age of eight he transported his % surfboard on a converted shopping cart to Rockaway Beach. "All you ever needed was a board, trunks, wax and the urge to get wet." What? No multicolored zinc oxide...
When he finally gets around to shaving. Fred also better look out for the well-hung surfer gliding off his neck, his rainbow-striped surfboard jutting out like a monstrous fiberglass phallus. Not to mention avoiding getting lost in the tropical rain forest or falling off the water fall over to the left...
...Labor Day. Paul Parsons, 33, another abalone diver, suffered puncture wounds and lost much of his left buttock when a shark mauled him in the waters north of San Francisco. Surfer Bob Rice, 25, watched in horror as a 12-ft. carnivore clamped down on the front of his surfboard before swimming away in the waves off Cape Kiwanda, Ore. Says he: "It missed my hips by about four inches...
...seat cushion will act as a floatation device." First off, if it's so damn unlikely that we're going to crash, why bother telling us about it? And a floatation device? Great, you're crashing into the water at 600 miles per hour--all you need is a surfboard...