Word: svetlana
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...average couch potato about the slumping euro, and you'll probably hear all about Svetlana Khorkina's early mistrials on the uneven bars in Sydney. Far more meaningful, though, are the mistrials of the virtual currency that much of Euroland adopted in 1999 to simplify trade and build economic muscle. A spendable euro won't be in print before 2002. Until then, it's a calculation that 11 nations peg their currencies to, and so far it hasn't worked well for Europeans. Underscoring the trouble: Denmark last week elected not to join the Euro union...
...with me, ladies and gentlemen, Svetlana Khorkina. Thank God for Russian divas! America could never produce a Dostoyevskian heroine like Khorkina - with her razor sharp hair line, her aquiline features, her glares, her screams, her wails, her brilliant hits and her spectacular crashes. At the team competition, she moped and giggled, smiled and cried, and chewed the scenery so viciously that she almost single-handedly destroyed her team and then brought them roaring back. And if all the drama wasn't enough, the image of her angrily tearing off her silver medal at the end of the night was enough...
...think you saw Svetlana mad during the team competition, nothing could have prepared anyone for the fury that came when she discovered that the vault had been mismanaged. Spouting and screaming, twitching and reddening, she took everyone to task for a conspiracy that she believed was intended solely to derail her gold medal hopes. When reporters tried to get her to sum up her feelings, she had two words for them: "Piss...
...during the uneven bars event final. Afterwards, she puffed, "I give this medal to the people of Russia. I will never forgive what they have done to me here, but this is for the people who need this, of people who need to be uplifted." I'm thinking, "Dude, Svetlana. Come on now. An uneven bars gold medal is nice and pretty, but I don't think it's going to erase a decade of oppression...
...Questions arose. If Svetlana hadn't fallen on the vault, would she have made the error on the bars? "She was obviously handicapped on the vault," said U.S. team coordinator Bela Karolyi. "That's what started her downfall because when your confidence is shaken, you are open to another mistake." Added Russian team official Valeri Dianov: "She was emotionally depressed after that. We expected her to be Olympic champion. This is the worst performance the Russian team has ever had at the Olympics." Knowing she'd need an impossibly high score to take even a bronze medal, Svetlana chose...