Word: swabbings
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...Sykes, professor of human genetics at the University of Oxford, is there to help you. His company, Oxford Ancestors (motto: "We put the Genes in Genealogy"), can identify portions of your DNA that chronicle an unbroken chain of descent back to the Stone Age. All it takes is a swab from the inside of your cheek...
...Unlike the tobacco industry, which puts giant warning labels on billboard and magazine ads, Q-Tips puts giant warnings only on the back of its packaging. It never runs TV commercials showing cool-looking kids in leather jackets handing each other Q-Tips until one sticks a swab in so deep that blood spurts out. And while Philip Morris gives money to charities and the arts, I ask you to ask yourself if you've ever been handed a program that reads "Q-Tips Presents Verdi's La Traviata." And there aren't any Q-Tips racing teams. That...
There is an industry in this country so powerful that no one--not politicians, not journalists, not even rap artists--has had the cojones to stand up to it. I'm referring of course, to the cotton-swab industry, an industry that pumps millions into the American economy, and if my journalistic instincts are correct, possibly even more into the pockets of our Senators, publishers and rappers...
...eardrum injury as a result of cleaning their ears with Q-Tips. Countless others came down with cases of tinnitus. And God only knows how many retrieved stuff that really grossed them out. We will never know the real numbers because the FDA no longer requires manufacturers to report swab malfunctions. Where is the outrage? Well, I am not afraid to speak out. And if that means losing my job, then I only hope Ben Affleck plays me in The Insider 2: The Middle Ear. He's a hottie...
Unlike the tobacco industry, which puts giant warning labels on billboard and magazine ads, Q-Tips puts giant warnings only on the back of its packaging. It never runs TV commercials showing cool-looking kids in leather jackets handing each other Q-Tips until one sticks a swab in so deep that blood spurts out. And while Philip Morris gives money to charities and the arts, I ask you to ask yourself if you've ever been handed a program that reads "Q-Tips Presents Verdi's La Traviata." And there aren't any Q-Tips racing teams. That...