Word: swaffer
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...Duke of Edinburgh and those two adorable children. 'I guess those are the four most important people in the world,' said a voice behind me." All this was too much for some of Her Majesty's most loyal subjects. "Sickening gush," snorted crotchety old Columnist Hannen Swaffer. "Almost turned me into a republican." And last week Punch was moved to a page of parodies that were only too close to what the columnists often write. Sample Punchlines...
Says Mrs. Swaffer: "One Swaffer is quite enough...
...Swaffer grew sick of the theater ("I knew all the tricks, I knew every plot"). Turned Socialist-minded by the Depression, he quit the Express to try his hand at politics in the Laborite Herald. But his new column, like the old, was mainly about Swaffer's likes & dislikes: the change was so slight that actors hardly realized he had "stopped" being a critic. The column's I-studded name-dropping led one magazine to run a contest on how Swaffer would start his column if Press Lords Beaverbrook and Rothermere were killed simultaneously in an accident...
...Swaffer became a militant crusader for everything from Socialism to spiritualism. He claimed credit for driving stripteasers off the London stage, attacked Hellzapoppin for its vulgarity, denounced other second rate" American importations, fought rodeos as cruel to animals...
...boss, Lord Northcliffe. (He gives me advice, but I tell him, Chief, I never obeyed you when you were alive, why should I obey you now?'") Once he invited G. B. Shaw to a séance. When Shaw replied: "I gave up table-rapping in my childhood," Swaffer wrote back: "I thought that now you are in your second childhood, you might want to give it another...