Word: swearings
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It’s Mine, I swear...
...voter suppression, and several have been modified even in the last week. Ohio, for example, was forced by court ruling just last Wednesday to loosen its new ID requirements. A similar walk-back occurred in Georgia, where voters can now produce one of 17 different forms of ID or swear an affidavit of identity - far easier than producing a photo ID. Other states haven't backed down on their new rules. Check your Secretary of State's website if you aren't sure what to bring. But be prepared for challenges...
Elsewhere things just get downright weird, mostly in a good way. I swear that “Hoodie” is a bald-faced “Hey Ya” ripoff, and yes it’s a little lame, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be dancing in spite of yourself...
...Second, while those little advertising flyers seem so harmless, they are in fact doing grave damage to the environment. Yes, as a conservative, I had to swear an oath on a Bible printed on the skin of silver-backed gorillas and inked with the blood of several dozen baby sea otters, but a good columnist knows his audience, and many of you think “environmental issues” are important. Think for a second then, Harvard: How many hundreds of trees are ruthlessly pulped in order to print flyers whose sole purpose is to make the roughly thirty...
...thought - pretty much the only thought - that can sustain you throughout a very long naturalization ceremony, most of which is spent waiting. All of which comes after a very long naturalization application process, most of which is also spent waiting - punctuated by a brief moment of excitement when you swear you have not engaged in prostitution, Communist party membership or genocide. That...