Word: swimsuited
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...have no problem with pornography. Pornography has got me through some of my most difficult times: my prepubescence, my pubescence, my postpubescence, my post-postpubescence and whatever they call the part I'm in now. But I hate the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED swimsuit issue. And it's not just because they won't let me be host of that TNT Making of special--though, if they want to end my negative campaign, that will probably...
Last year my Time Inc. co-workers and I received our sister magazine's swimsuit issue wrapped in a brown interoffice envelope. A white strip on the cover said FOR OFFICE USE. Though I had seen that phrase before on our publications, the thought of people somehow "using" this in their offices seemed really disturbing...
Fueled by this pseudo feminism, I went to the S.I. floor to meet Sandy Bailey, the editor of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED FOR WOMEN. I asked her if her magazine would ever stoop to printing a men's swimsuit issue. She said that will be the May issue. Shocked and disappointed, I asked if she needed models and offered to take my shirt off. She said she was using professional athletes as models. I offered to take my shirt off anyway. She laughed in a way that made me know she knew the number for Security...
Pretending that the swimsuit issue is different from Playboy is dangerous. By masquerading as mainstream, as Maxim and Details do, it allows readers to duck issues of exploitation. Just because you have to look through wet bathing suits to see nipples doesn't mean you should escape all feelings of shame and secrecy. To see these images, you should have to walk to the back of the video store, through those western-style swinging doors that make you think of a brothel. You should have to sneak the merchandise home wrapped in something inconspicuous. That's why I'm throwing...
...excitement, the fear and longing? Apparently this couple didn't feel that those little perks were necessary to their peculiar version of happy ever after. Why did he opt to select a wife from among a group of women who agreed to a public competition--including a mortifying swimsuit parade? Ego? Desperation? Maybe Rockwell simply has a wacky sense of humor. Surely there's a punch line yet to come...