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...northern Michigan in a remote woodland outside of Petosky (not your major urban setting to begin with) staring at a 55 ft. tall wooden cross with a bronze statue of Jesus—whose foot was bigger than my head—nailed to it, and that’s what I was wondering...

Author: By Stephanie E. Butler, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Let's Go...To the Middle of Nowhere | 2/20/2003 | See Source »

...While the Dems are currently flaccid on the issue of an Iraqi War, we stand tall, erect, and firm on the issue of masturbation and self-love in general,” says College Democrats Project Chair Andrew J. Frank ’04. “When the government won’t let Americans pleasure themselves, then not only have we alienated the Star Trek nerd demographic, but also have denied one of the basic liberties protected by our Constitution...

Author: By M.j. Amato, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Make Love (To Yourself), Not War | 2/20/2003 | See Source »

...Maas, a tall, brown-haired Canadian, is not at a complete loss for his dismal showing. He has long suspected that his “smelly roommates” had their hands in the matter, along with Whitmire herself. As of now, however, Maas can only hide behind the fact that he did not actually fill out a Lustfest form himself—his roommates took care of the form for him. But, then again, who could know you better than the people you live with...

Author: By L. X. Huang, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Table For One | 2/20/2003 | See Source »

...only thing more surprising than the rapid erection of a nine-foot tall snow phallus in Harvard Yard last week was its even-quicker demise. Soon after it was completed, a group of self-appointed phallus-breakers knocked the ice-encrusted sculpture to bits. The destruction of the phallus was clearly a cowardly act of vandalism. But what were the motives of the phallus breakers? That’s a much harder nut to crack...

Author: By Jonathan H. Esensten, | Title: The Broken Phallus of Harvard Yard | 2/19/2003 | See Source »

According to the HUPD advisory, on Feb. 8 around 6:20 p.m., at 65 Martin St., the suspect—described as a 5-ft. 6-inch tall white male around 16 years of age—attacked his victim with a folding knife...

Author: By Jenifer L. Steinhardt, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Two Stabbed Near Quad | 2/18/2003 | See Source »

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